Having a cock for as long as I can remember I imagine sticking it in everything I see. Not just the usual suspects of vaginas, mouths, arseholes, cleavage…but everything: fruit, earth, trees, cabinets, sockets, lighters, mufflers, paving stones and so on. So I can only conclude that a woman who is relatively attuned to her sexuality must feel the same way. In the event there is such a thing as reincarnation (and specifically cross-gender reincarnation) this leads me to concern for one of my future selves. For if indeed I return as a girl and my adolescence bears any resemblance to my adolescence as a boy my parents may well return home from an evening out to find their lawn, their driveway, their TV, their photo albums and kitchen appliances, their house, their swimming pool and garden furniture, in fact every last one of their possessions sprouting from my insatiable cunt.

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